#Wordivating (noun, adjective and verb) : a creative game we play to heal and escape to a greater tomorrow and state. And as we awaken, we find it was much more than a simple game.
I didn't realize that when I was #wordivating, that I was actually changing myself for the better. The game was so #wordivating. Her #wordivating words made all the difference in my life.
I could listen to this song a million times (and perhaps I have already):
Don’t say its over, because that’s the worst news I could hear
I swear that I will do my best to be here just the way you like it
Even though its hard to hide, push my feelings all aside
I will rearrange my plans and change for you
If I could go back, that’s the first thing that I would
Do my best to follow through, come up with a master plan
A home run hit, a winning stand
A guarantee and not a promise
That I’d never let your love slip from my hands
-If it’s the beaches, the Avett Brothers from The Gleam album
Music is such a creative power and force. You can feel it in your bones, down to your core, it shakes you and gives you the chills. Unexplainable power.
I love to be creative, to escape to a faraway place and that is a feeling I’ve had since I was as young as I can remember. Listening to this song I can feel the sand beneath my feet. Whether I was in the backyard picking four-leaf clovers and smelling the grass and touching the dirt, looking for my lucky charm and rainbow, or writing a poem, letter to my imaginary friends, drawing a faraway magical land, dreaming day and night, reality was always so disappointing and much less fulfilling compared to the dream world. Reading started that for me, listening to music under the tree, an ability to escape being lonely or feeling trapped. A few pages in, just the second verse and you are in another world. I can hear the waves crashing against the shore. Comic books, superheroes, cartoons showing the impossible is possible in another universe, good defeating evil.
I find that writing and being creative is so therapeutic, maybe its also been a way to escape the mental anguish of my mind and the madness within, pause the entropic pounding in my head or slow it down at the least for a few minutes to catch my breath.
Not all escapes are harmless ones, creative writing and daydreaming turns into dark, euphoric escapes with a drink, a puff, then many more of them, lasting minutes, hours, then days, the centimeter square paper tingling on your tongue, all ways to run away and run farther. Running every day, running every night, no time to rest and repair. But running can be damaging to your joints and your soul. Then you try to kill the escape with a final dark thought and last move.
It can hurt so bad, you won’t come around to reality any longer before you know it, thinking about drinking again. Its not alright if you finally stop caring. But this is different, lets keep it light, stay in the light.
I always wanted to come up with something novel, but that is truly difficult no matter what is your target or area of thought. Novel ideas, novels, ideas or concepts – they are likely already out there. And in today’s world validating that truth is even easier than escaping from reality used to be for me.
The other day I was thinking about ways to be creative, in a meeting I should have been intently listening to but I could not resist opening the door to a different place. I also was in need of general motivation at that point, and current day you can’t escape the wordle phenomenon. I thought of another game, maybe it helps me and maybe it doesn’t, maybe its novel and maybe its not, but here it is.
#Wordivating – using words and acronyms, re-arranging the tiles to find another meaning or something to trick you mind, have fun with the written language a bit. A triple word score.
So I tried to find out about its pre-existance, I found wordivation, wordivate, many different things there - but not #wordivating. Ah ha I thought… of course I only googled and clicked for a few minutes before I dove back into the world of letters and phrases in my jumbled mind. I quickly saw all the scrabble tiles with the small number in the corner on each of them, scattered out on a table. I was soon in another trance.
I started with D-O-U-B-T the tiles I have endless piles of in my head. Something I need to expunge to make true change and grow as a person, to extinguish the entropy that has devastated so much in my life and mind. If not forever, at least for the moment to point myself back in the positive direction. String together a few more words. For so long I thought I could solve all my problems by myself, when at the same time I have preached to so many others and given the sage advice to always think as a team, move as a team because no significant achievement has ever been accomplished on this earth by a single person, no matter what anyone tells you or says. Nothing beautiful, valuable, or remarkable was created singularly. No meaningful discovery has ever been made by a single set of eyes or hands.
When you think you can’t do something, when you have doubt, the power is right there in that word, the word that holds you down, holds you back and keeps you from moving forward D-O-U-B-T:
Don’t overestimate your broken thoughts, you are not incapable, destined for failure, stop being timid or tired because the ability and energy to change is surely inside you. Even if you start your journey alone. You have all the ability to do so, especially through reaching out for help. And as you start, momentum and joy from the smallest progress will carry you forward will more energy than you can imagine. And know with certainty that if you open yourself up to help, ask for help and accept it, you will succeed. Change your system boundary, let the energy and light of others power your mission.
DOUBT, Don’t Overlook, Underestimate Being Together; Don’t Overlook, Underestimate Building Together – what you can accomplish as a team is exponentially bigger, brighter, more robust than what we can do alone.
DOUBT and taking ‘OUT’ removing that thought from your mind, that is courage – the ability to push aside fear and doubt and move forward to change and grow even in the smallest way is crucial. Before you know it, you are looking at the best version of yourself, have the confidence and courage to keep driving and taking small steps, consistently towards your goals and improvement each day. And others will push you, provide knowledge, support and wisdom - the insurmountable becomes easy.
We can break down DOUBT or DOUBTS and dismantle the thoughts of fear, the demons holding you back - when you remove ‘OUT’ then you are left with D and B – Don’t Budge, Don’t Break, Don’t Bury things and do reach out for help – Do Beckon, call out and raise your hand as you are not alone and there is help around you - to pull you back up and support you when you are weak, if only you reach OUT. I forgot the S – Speak up.
Your mind is so powerful to mislead you to the darkest depths but can also take you to new, unfathomable heights. Shame and doubt, replaced by courage and liberation, release. And you will need excavation and historical wisdom, lessons in the process that will come from many sources around you. A thesaurus, a soft voice. Then you can move forward informed to seek balance and process, through diligence and backing to get your footing set, lay your foundation and scale from there as the bricks and mortar cure, you will heal. But don’t build too quickly, for many times you must slow down to truly go fast and make it to your destination. Speed kills, especially in efforts like this. Think about modulation, just as I do when I take Paxil every morning – dampen my high highs and low lows, keep my serotonin levels stable and in range – they will never be flatlined, but bouncing in a controlled amplitude is winning. Paxil, a therapist, friends to confide in and who provide valuable perspective, encouragement when you need it, stories from strangers that show you are not alone. And through their stories, what they have overcome - tells you, screaming that your journey is a hop, skip and a jump away.
And there will be delays, detours on your road, bumps and stop offs. But be resilient and confident as doubt was left behind long ago. Attention and care are needed, whether servicing your mind or your body, some things you can anticipate and eliminate before they are in your way; others you will need help to address, perhaps the most critical is roadside support when you are all alone on the shoulder of the highway, unsure of your next move.
The only thing you will ever regret is not trying, not engaging the resources around you.
Maybe this #wordivating is truly something. Simple and with great utility.
And maybe there’s a couple different forms of #wordivating. Heck it could be an Olympic sport soon – singles, four-person, synchronized pairs, relay, why not with all the different variations we see in the current games.
And defeat your past. #WORDIVATING all the way.
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